14.2 min read

Wealthy Women. Financial Secrets That Set Them Apart.

I’ve been a therapist working with women of all socioeconomic walks of life and I have found that there are clear patterns on what women think, feel, and how they behave, when it comes to money. Wealthy women simply do things differently, and I call it “secrets” only because I think it is unknown to women who might struggle more, financially. In fact, women who struggle might find some of these observations downright uncomfortable.

Women who have credit card debt, are in financial trouble or lack investments, tend to have a certain view of the world and themselves.

Wealthy women have some outlooks about their money and themselves, which are simply different than the women who struggle- at least in my experience.

I want to be able to help you to tweak your mindset and perception, so that if you do struggle, this might illuminate and then help you to start small and focus on compound interest not overwhelm.


Because finance is a fundamental sector for any western-world home life, personal experience, or business, knowing where to go when you require support, is a necessity. It often looks like women fear their own personal finance. This attitude towards money will cripple them eventually.

Women who are wealthy enjoy spending time getting to know their financial situation.

To take your personal finances and business to a higher level, you will have a clear and accurate financial picture. Women will spend billions of dollars per year on cosmetics and skincare, but rarely will they budget for a financial professional. It is advisable to hire a qualified accountant to sort out what you have and where you are going, financially. Women in wealth enjoy working with financial advisors, banks, learning about financial planning, and creating several bank accounts and investment accounts.

Building an effective relationship between you and your money is mandatory. Like any other relationship, this one must be functional not dysfunctional.

Keep yourself safe by finding someone who speaks the language. Because financial systems have their terminology and vocabulary in particular, it is hard to learn to read finances.


Women who are wealthy listen to their intuition when it comes to money and how others treat money. Listen to this quick story of a woman ignoring her intuition.

“My ex and I moved in together after college. He made twice as much as me at least but said he had way more student loan debt. I believed him and we split everything 50/50 because I thought our debt to income ratios were the same. This wasn’t the case at all. I learned that he hardly had student loan debt and that he also had a trust fund. I felt taken advantage of because the agreement was to split bills based upon our incomes and debt, and he intentionally withheld this from me”

Women at the beginning of a relationship will be caught up in infatuation and assume that is intuition. Of course, because it “feels” so right they assume it “is” correct; but it’s actually just romantic notions covering up the reality of someone potentially taking advantage of them. Women who are caught up in romantic notions are also more apt to take the caregiving role and be more than willing to trust that what he says is in fact, truth. This is how a narcissist dives into the relationship as well- though every person who hides their finances is not a narcissist.

Women of wealth tend to enjoy romance but they are also very grounded in the reality of the relationship and do not offer to pay for just anyone, especially a new boyfriend. They listen to their intuition that is not shrouded by veils of romance.

Here is another story, and this one is about a woman who is using her intuition.

“My ex and I lived together, were engaged, and were saving up to buy a house. I had known him for about three years and we kept our finances separate. I wanted it that way.

So, we were saving. Or at least I was. He always said he was too. We had talked about debt and he said he had none.”

She went on to tell me that she had some bad feelings even though they knew each other for a while.

“His car broke down and he could not “find” a new or used vehicle to purchase, and I found that odd. I felt really uncomfortable about the situation. I asked to see his credit report when he was turned down for a loan; it showed an incredible amount of debt. I left him. Not because he was in debt. It was because he lied. Because he took advantage of me and didn’t respect me enough, to be honest. I had friends who said I should have stayed that he was such a nice guy, and so on. But why should I stay with someone I don’t trust who I can’t respect now because he can’t be an adult and save money?”

Women and Wealth, Financial Therapy, Women and Money, Women and Trauma Healing, Self-Healing


Women who value their time outsource without apology. It might be a cleaning crew. It might be someone to handle their social media. It might be a neighbors teen as a mother’s helper. Regardless, women of wealth rarely spend much time doing anything that they deem is either soul-sucking like a chore or something that might enrich their children, like a mother’s helper or piano teacher, even if they know piano. They understand that sometimes, having the support of a “tribe” is more helpful than trying to do everything and feeling pressure if they can’t. They see themselves as icing on the cake to help their children or manage their work, but they do not feel shamed into doing everything

They do not see work as a “hustle”.

They see work as a passionate extension but not one they are willing to exhaust themselves for if they don’t have to. They don’t see themselves as a worker bee or climbing some ladder with bloody knuckles.

Don’t get me wrong; these women work hard. They just know when to outsource and they invest in that business acumen.

In my experience, women who are without wealth tend to feel shame or apologetic about wanting to have support. They were taught and believe, that hustling and living off of coffee and adrenaline is commendable, and that juggling life is how you get ahead.

Women of wealth want to live life, not juggle so much that even little chores become a hassle.

Women and Wealth, Financial Therapy, Women and Money, Women and Trauma Healing, Self-Healing


Women who are wealthy tend to be willing to spend to earn.

If you’d like a shoe that keeps your feet warm during cold winters, you’d better buy it. Basically, it means you’re going to have to spend more on shoes to maintain your shoes dry, right? Let me explain. A woman who is impulsive and less wealthy is more apt to buy whatever is in style, and window shops more. A woman who is wealthy tends to research and purchase sensible clothing and shoes so that their “fun” styles are protected.

Both spend, one spends more wisely.

It’s also true for creating rich empires.

If we want money, we should spend money. It should not be hard to comprehend. In reality, money must go. Starting small is possible and it only takes 1 dollar to earn $10. From there, it’ll be obvious why investing in one hundred thousand dollars is a lot more effective than investing one hundred thousand dollars.

Women of wealth know that they have to give a commission or retainer fee to their lawyers and financial advisors. They know they will invest and pay a trading fee from time to time. They know all of these investments will help earn them more income, or at least that is the plan.

Women who struggle find these fees to be offputting. They can’t imagine saving and giving $5,000 to a business attorney as a retainer for a series of services or letters to help them to be more successful. They would think that is throwing money out the window; they would say that they can’t afford it. Meanwhile, a woman who is wealthy would tell me time and time again that they can’t afford to not have that attorney on retainer.

That’s just one example, but you get the idea. Women who are wealthy see professionals and investments as a way to earn more, long-term.

Women and Wealth, Financial Therapy, Women and Money, Women and Trauma Healing, Self-Healing


If I truly want to make money and become very rich then I have no choice but to do that. Surely it’s a good plan to make a fortune for yourself. When one woman has made a thousand she realizes that she could earn another thousand and that these numbers are… just numbers.

It’s all about the mindset. Many wealthy women think big. Not dream big. Think Big.

They assume that they will have money. They assume that their partners will be successful. They assume that they will have an impressive income. They assume that they will have savings, wealth, a good relationship with money, a good accountant, a great financial advisor or understand financial planning well enough on their own that they dive into their own financial decisions with passion.

Women who struggle think about money like a dream. They want to “pay bills” and “help their families”. In fact, that mindset is what a lot of marketers -including female marketers- use to lure in these women. They know their pain points and exploit them. This way, they can easily sell the dreamer a dream, and the dreamer is simply going to assume that if the dream doesn’t turn into a reality, that’s the way life has been anyway.

A woman of wealth isn’t going to buy into a dream; they want concrete numbers and they want to see how the investment grows; what risks are associated and what they can afford to lose. They are not going to be taken in by fluffy marketing because like earlier, they are not rooted in romantic notions. Wealthy women think of big money, and they expect others to respect that style of investing and living.

Women and Wealth, Financial Therapy, Women and Money, Women and Trauma Healing, Self-Healing


Wealthy women know that adaptability is important. Any situation can very quickly change. It also makes it essential to remain willing and open to change. If your personal life or business is changing, there are chances of not having any success if you can’t adapt.

A good company model can never last forever. A good marriage isn’t staying the same forever. People grow and change. A good marriage requires quite a bit but the number one thing that it needs is adaptability. If you are self-employed or even if you work with a company, you need to accept that change happens; to be stunned by change is a small-thinking woman habit. To break out of that, you have to begin to embrace change.

You’ve all seen people complain over little things. The grocery store changed its layout. Your career is becoming more obsolete or it is becoming so busy you feel overwhelmed. Now what? You adapt. That doesn’t mean you keep everything the same and do nothing. It means you problem solve, with ease.

Whenever time and circumstances require that change is when a wealthy woman is open to the transitions that come her way and that she creates to adapt.

“My husband and I had been married for about twenty years and while we did have joint accounts, I had my own accounts as well. When COVID hit, my husband and I decided that we needed to move to a new state so he could get a new job. We moved for his career, in mutual agreement. With our move, it took me six months to find alternative employment, and yet I had a nest egg and investments to live off of, plus my husband was making a bit more and we lived in an area that was a lower cost of living. I decided to open my own business while I was looking for employment, and now I am employed but have a fun side-employment that is all mine. We have a home that we were able to buy outright and I have more investments now than ever, with the extra money.

Had I not been willing to make changes, we would be alright but not as financially secure as we are now.”

Women and Wealth, Financial Therapy, Women and Money, Women and Trauma Healing, Self-Healing


Almost every woman who wants to start their company now has a common feature — they wear pink glasses. Wearing pink glasses will make your world appear brighter.

This is a joke of course, but it’s kind of true!

Many women look at opening a company with a rose-colored glasses approach and love to create their Instagram posts about how Girl-Boss they are but they don’t sit and crunch numbers nearly enough. When I began my business I knew I wanted to research and create a five-year plan and that plan was mostly about numbers and analytics, not the product. Products and services can change on a whim, but your income should not be that fickle.”

Wealthy women love to know what they have, what they want, and how they will get it.

In my experience, women who struggle financially tend to know very little about what they want or how they will get it, they sort of “hope” a lot and either over or under project their income in the future with no actual analytical tools or research to support their income. They just work hard even when it doesn’t make financial sense.

Women and Wealth, Financial Therapy, Women and Money, Women and Trauma Healing, Self-Healing


Rich women invest in people. It is that simple. They invest in other women. They invest in nonprofits. They do not often make a show of it; you often will not know the truly wealthy women who do this. They pay it forward very silently.

Wealthy women are aware of the people around them. They focus on the right people and that requires strategic planning.

Wealthy women are interested in helping others reach their potential, even if that potential does not benefit them directly. They are interested in the greater good. They do not see investing in others as a waste of money.

They invest time not just finances.

Women and Wealth, Financial Therapy, Women and Money, Women and Trauma Healing, Self-Healing


Rarely will you see a wealthy woman who is decked out in name brands. They know that luxury brands are and luxury designers are just companies who market to people who want to look wealthy. If the woman who is wealthy actually enjoys the look or quality of a product or service, they will most certainly purchase if they feel it is an investment in themselves (or someone else).

Overall though, a wealthy woman doesn’t give much credibility to the marketing of companies nor are wealthy women impressed with name brands.

On the other hand, I have had clients who used to request the outreach fee and most of their sessions were about financial struggles, but they would be wearing head-to-toe name brands from shoes to purse to getting hair and nails done frequently. There is nothing wrong with any of this except these particular women would end up realizing that the brands were giving them a faux illusion of success which was often accompanied by a level of buyers remorse.

Wealthy women purchase based on what they enjoy and that often looks like a no-name brand or an ethical brand, not a heavily marketed brand.

Wealthy women tend to set trends, they don’t follow them.

Women and Wealth, Financial Therapy, Women and Money, Women and Trauma Healing, Self-Healing

There are many ways to be a wealthy woman and not all wealthy women do all of the strategies and adopt all of the mindsets above, but most do. Wealth is about so much more than money, but I think it’s important for us all to have some degree of financial security.

You may not be able to become a millionaire overnight, but you can take the first steps toward that goal by getting your finances in order and making wise decisions with what you do have today.

Sign up for my newsletter here if you want advice on how to get started building self-value, healing your past, and begin building wealth now. Have any questions? I’m happy to help!

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